Domestic Abuse

Domestic Violence/Abuse

Love doesn't hurt

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If you are suffering because of domestic abuse or know someone who is, there is help available

  • Speak to someone who cares about protecting you from abuse and violence in your home - such as talking to trusted family members, friends, work colleagues or a neighbour so that they know what is happening in your life. Protect a family member, friend or neighbour from domestic abuse, let them know you're there to listen and advise them of the Island's domestic abuse provider You First. For more information visit their website theyoutrust.org.uk
  • You can also ring the freephone helpline on 0800 234 6266. Please note you may get the answer phone when the service is busy or if you call out of office hours

  • If you are concerned about a child’s safety or welfare, please contact Children Services - Hants Direct on 0300 300 0117.

  • Domestic abuse affects men too, for advice, help and support contact You First on 0800 2346266 or visit mensadviceline.org.uk

  • Speak up for someone you know who is having problems with domestic abuse, contact IW Adults Safeguarding Team 01983 814980.

  • Speak to your doctor if you are experiencing problems with controlling your emotions and you are worried you could hurt someone you care about. You can also contact Hampton Trust on 02380 009898  or visit www.hamptontrust.org.uk who work with perpetrators to break the cycle of abuse , conflict and exploitation.

  • If someone is in immediate danger or at serious risk of harm, you are advised to call the police on 999.

YOU Trust – Reporting Domestic Abuse

If you have received a disclosure of domestic abuse from an individual, please refer them to the YOU Trust website or ring the freephone helpline on 0800 234 6266. Please note: you may get the answer phone when the service is busy or if you call out of office hours.

Safety Planning

The most dangerous time for a person in an abusive relationship is when they are considering leaving, or have just left. Anyone thinking about this is advised to call one of the support services listed below to talk to someone who can offer help.

 

A safety plan is vital whether you intend to stay or to leave:

  • Arrange where you might go if you have to leave urgently.
  • Find places where you can quickly and safely use the telephone.
  • If you have children, teach them how to dial 999 and make up a code word that you can use when you need help.
  • Carry a discreet list of telephone numbers for support services and friends.
  • Try to save money so that you have bus or taxi fares in an emergency.
  • Get an extra set of keys for the house and car and keep these in a safe place, with  money and anything else you may need should you have to leave quickly.
  • Talk to your children and let them know it is not their fault.
  • Talk to trusted friends, relatives, your doctor or nurse about how you feel.
  • Consider opening a savings account in your name.
  • Always try to take your children with you or make arrangements to leave them somewhere safe if this is not possible.
  • Make plans for pets, if you are unable to take them with you.
  • Consider visiting the Law Centre or a solicitor to discuss what options are available to you.
  • Try to do things which would get you out of the house, such as walking your dog, putting out the rubbish or going to the shops to practice how you would leave.
  • Consider leaving a bag with a trusted friend or relative containing the items you would need if you had to leave urgently. Also consider who may lend you money in an emergency.

Alcohol is no excuse

  • Alcohol can often be a factor in cases of domestic abuse and during popular events where there is always frequent opportunity for people to drink alcohol.  When people are drunk arguments and fights can escalate quickly, especially when emotions run high. Alcohol is never an excuse, find out how you can get help with your drinking by visiting the inclusion.org website providing advice on Island drug, alcohol & psychological therapy services available.
  • Drinking alcohol can sometimes lead to sexual abuse where you can be pressured into sex or are so drunk that you cannot freely give consent. Drunk doesn’t mean yes! safedate.org.uk provide clear information about sexual consent